Am I Lovely?

I've started reading "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldredge (again), and am only three chapters into it but it's already stirring up in me so many thoughts, emotions, and revelations.

It all starts with a question that girls/women everywhere ask (whether out loud or internally): "Am I lovely?" Little girls ask their Daddy's, "Do I look pretty?" as they twirl in their pink froofy dresses; teenage girls ask their crush "Do you think I'm hot?"; and women ask their boyfriends and husbands, "Am I lovely? Do I captivate you?" Perhaps these questions come often times in non-verbal forms. Instead of asking your man straight out if he thinks you are captivating, you watch his every reaction as you step out of the bathroom in your brand new dress, hair and make-up done, and see if his face says, "WOW. I can't look away!" We, as women, long to be desired, and long to captivate the men in our lives. The problem is that we often allow that desire take over what we have to OFFER. The authors put it best when they say, "There is a radiance hidden in your heart that the world desperately needs" (p.42). Don't let the desire to be captivating overtake the radiance in your heart!

For any men who are reading this, it is important to note that even women whom you would never guess would ask the question, "Am I lovely?" still do wonder from time to time. That may be hard even for other women to understand. We so readily compare ourselves to each other, to women in movies/tv/magazines, and to strangers on the street. We think things like, "How could SHE ever wonder if she's pretty? Look at her! She has perfect long legs, and mine are short and stumpy!" We take whatever we don't have (and perhaps want) and justify the idea that that person couldn't possibly have insecurities, and must just be looking for attention. Can I caution you against the trap of comparison? We are all DIFFERENT. We all look different, speak different, desire different things, have different dreams, and ultimately have different fears and insecurities.

So what's the answer to the question, "Am I lovely?" The answer comes not from the people around us, or even from ourselves. No... The answer comes from God. He is the One who determines our worth, our value, and our "loveliness!" When we are searching for those answers from the men or other people in our lives, we lose sight of the main thing. Because people will fail us. They will say one thing and do another. They will make us doubt their sincerity, trust will be broken, and ultimately that question will remain unanswered and leave us feeling inadequate. But when we run to our Heavenly Father and do a twirl in front of His Throne, He will answer, "Yes, my daughter. You are lovely. I have crowned you with glory and honour" (Psalm 8:5). For our worth comes from Him. We have been "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 134:14) in His image (Genesis 1:27).

I'm Back... But Not As You Knew Me!

What inspired me to blog again? Afterall, my adventures in Sydney, Australia have come to an end (for now at least!) and what could I possibly write about in a "kristinlenodownunder" blog at this point? Well, I was perusing through my Facebook yesterday and came across some old Notes I wrote. It has inspired me to start writing again. That being said, this blog is no longer a "Down Under Update" but rather just... me! Thoughts, things I'm learning, stories, and new adventures! So, we'll see where this goes...

I'll start out this blog by summarizing a big chunk of what I learned while I was in Australia. Many of you may have already heard me talk about this in bits and pieces, but I will elaborate a bit more on my thoughts here. I would say the number one thing that God taught me in my time away in Sydney and at Hillsong Church was about SERVING. Let me break that down for you:

I went into my year at Hillsong College with the thought that I had a pretty good grasp on what it means to serve in my local church, and that I had a pretty great attitude about it too! What I learned, was that my attitude on serving centered mainly around what I wanted to do and not what was needed. I served where I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted... Sometimes we just need to be gap-fillers: people that are willing to serve where they are needed, and not necessarily where they want to be. And let me tell you... That's a hard lesson to learn. It's a humbling lesson to learn -- and our pride doesn't like that one bit. But from experience I can say that it is one of the most valuable lessons I have ever learned. How to serve with a heart that says, "Where I am needed?"

I learned how dramatically important it is for every member of the body of Christ to serve in the church that he/she calls Home. Not only does God call us to serve one another and express in Corinthians the function of each part of the body being so important to the whole, but it integrates us into the greater community of our church. It allows us to feel PART of something greater than ourselves. It connects us, refreshes us, and brings us closer to the heart of God. Can I encourage you, that if you're not already serving in your home church, that you get involved? Just ask, "where am I needed?"

Also, in relation to serving, I experienced to a degree I never have before, serving with excellence. Everything that is done is expected to be excellent. That doesn't mean perfect, or without any flaw, but it means that you give the best you can, the most you can, and do it for the glory of God. There is a bar that is set for every area of ministry, and each member of that ministry is aware of it and strives to attain it with the realization that it is there for a purpose. When we serve somewhere, we should be doing it for God -- and that means giving our very best, not our leftovers. This concept of excellence should also spill over into every area of our lives: church, worship, giving, work, school, relationships... Everything! That's definitely something I'm still working on, and I'm sure I will have to work on for the rest of my life.

There's so much more I could say about things I learned while I was in Aus, and I'm sure a lot of that will come out eventually on here. For now, I will draw this blog to a close (it's also time for class and I just wanna post this thing!)... But I'll be back! :) Thanks for reading.